Y ?

Hmm.... wantd to write a good blog bt not inda mood.. y do ppl cm close to you n they start loving u n make u feel sad at da same time.. its a big question Y !! ?

One Sad night i was crying so much i cldnt evn breath .. so laid onda tile.. was stairing at the ceiling was thinking wt hv i ever done to ny1 to feel this pain.. i think i kinda acused the up above heavn for al the sadnes.. many times i wished i d die.. bt funny isnt it ..whn u wnt to die u dont n whn u wnt to live.. stil u dnt die..bt da ones who shld be living are dead..thats da nature i guz..

im happy bt im sad.. i smile bt i cry .. honestly .. i hv hurt so much i knw in a few days time.. i l not feel wt it means to be hurt.. almst everynyt i go to sleep crying..or hving a hurtful thought in my mind... iv been accused, hurt, been blasted into .. bt stil i live n love n wil be doing da same ..

why cnt ppl jst undrstnd me.. why do they alwys hv to prov that they knw abt me btr thn i knw myself ? why is it that they wnt to shw that they r da best n im da one at fault alwys ? Y Y Y Y ?? may be i dnt knw how they feel.. too obviz they dnt knw wt n how i feel ..

Cnt feel my love.. cnt feel i care.. cnt feel i do my best to change into a totaly difrnt persn.. y is it alwys their lv ..their care, their change is more Quality than mine ?? Hmm.... ??

No one sees me for wat i am.. is thr ny1 who loves me for WHO n WAT i am ? do they even knw the difrnt btwn that ? love isnt enf.. understnding too plays a big role.. isnt it ? i doubt that nyone can come out with 10 best things they knw abt me .. or whethr thy can tel me 10 best things thy'v done for me .. can u ? proove im wrong..

i wish i d nver felt lv,, nevr bn in lv,, it jst to hurtful..

why take my love for granted..my lve is nt a weaknes..its a feeling.. pure ? to me yes.. bt for u ? is it ??? yes or No ?? answer urself with my question of Y ?

" If i were a boy - i think i could understand

how it feels to love a girl - id swear id be a better man

id listen to her - cause i know how it hurts

when you loose the one u wanted - cause hes taken you for granted

and every thing you had got destoryd " (beyonce)

Ps. No i dnt need ya feed bk nor comments.. plz spare me that !

Totally Mine !

Today is hmm…now wts da date..yea 9th April 2009 and here I am on my bed typing

a blog at 10.30 pm.. and y is that..? hmm.. wel becz I promised some one special that

I would and I kinda don’t want to skip doing it… U c.. I stil hv NO clue of wt im gonna write abt today..cz I realy don’t have a good topic to write abt.. bt stil.. aftr thinking long and hard this is wat im gonna write tonyt..

Rembr I talkd abt love allda time..abt findng the guy of ur dreams..n abt settling for the 2nd best in life ? hmmm.. I hv a difrnt theory now.. .. smtimes whn ppl come into our lives we tend to change da way we think and behv… its amaizning wt lv can do to us..

Once I read in an email sent by my best gal Dj..where it said that wat a man can do to a woman.. so true.. a guy can make u feel like u r da best thing on earth n turn n make ur life miserable making u think that u were never born.. (in other words makes u feel lyk shit..!) n da reason for him to do that is becz we gals let them do that to us.. thts wt it said.... ok…its irrelevant to wat im gonna wirte abt bt stil i wrote that part becz its wt lv do to ppl…

In my case.. wel I alwys belvd that whn it comes to lv…I hv no luck in it.. true even now at times feels da same..cz there were n are n will be sleepless nights where I go to sleep in my tears.. whn u let some one get close to you, dear to ur heart.. it hapns.. bt tht doesn’t mean its da worst thing which can happen to a person..life is not so bad..n lv defa is not bad at all… love is suppose to be smthng truly amazing.. where u feel no hurt..no sorrow n definitely no tears.. so does that lve really exist ??

Yea.. im in lv… I alwys thought im in lv the othr times too ..its true wt they say.. whn u find true love u wil feel it.. n I feel my life ..myself with my guy.. its so amazing how he makes me feel at times.. one time I feel lyk im da luckiest gal on earth n the othr times.. hmm..well.. feels that wt hv I done to feel this pain.. I wld hv jst walkd away if someone make me feel sad .. cz I tend to stay away frm the ppl n things which makes me feel sad.. BUT.. whn that speicl someone is in ur life ..he makes you feel that its right to feel sad.. to cry.. to laugh ..to be happy … n you wake up every day as if nothing hapnd…

Moving on with life without him.. Mann.. I hv no idea.. n I hv NO intentions of doing da same.. yea.. I knw wt you all say.. “its Wasana.. she is a survivr.. she moves on.. no woris.. she cn make it thro..” of cz ppl I wil make it through..bt things wont be da same.. I do feel.. I do hurt..i feel sad n lonely.. its not that im made of clay.. without a heart and feeling.. its so hard to do such things.. whn you are left with NO choice in life.. yea.. I tend to take the easy way out..which at times IS not the best thing to do ..i knw I hv made sm mistakes in takin sm decisions in life..bt HEY come on.. we all make mistakes in life.. so im in that ALL group.. thr things we r not proud of.. .. I say its OK to make mistks in life.. n learn frm them n try to make it right the next time.. yea…. Yea.. I knw.. trying is not good enf.. .. :D

At times I wish I cld be grt.. forgiving.. so clam.. cooled down gal.. bt heck I cnt do that.. I get angry ..anoyed.. at times.. controlling is smthng I can do ..bt I realy get mad if I feel that ppl who are closer to my heart is making mistakes.. doing wrong things.. yea..i might be a little.. hmm…. Lets say a bit tough whn it comes to sm situations..bt I guz its all for the best.. and I knw my dear lv you understand perfectly wt im writing here..cz u v bn thr..done that.. n u knw the outcome..

I had da best moments.. days in my life with you… n im so greatful n thankful n man..i am so damn happy for all those things which u hva givn me .. n as u say.. “we will see” is wt I can say to da future.. cz life and fate do have a funny way of changing our lives.. wt we thought a year ago has totally changed in this year….n sure it will be changing in the future.. oh im NOT worried… cz I kw wt I want in life.. yea.. I sure do .. n I m gonna focus on wts my life is goin to be.. change n make the adjustment cz soon or later I hv to be serious..

Never used to being seriuz.. bt lv..u hv made me change my life.. my ways.. the way I think.. ok Not 100% ..bt yea.. at least 95% + …ok lets see.. I hv no life with me now..u hv all taken mine n I hv urs.. isn’t it ?

Wt ever hapns in life.. I KNW THE FACTS….

P.s I lve u .. !!